Kein Berliner
NICK TITAN ON TRUMP’S MAGA MADNESS
(DUTCH VERSION ON: NICK TITAN OVER TRUMPS MAGA CULTUUR)
Good evening to you, memberoos of my beloved community! Today’s blog treats Pete Callway’s question *.
‘Dear Nick,’ Pete writes. ‘As a proud patron of the arts, I’m funding Washington’s Kennedy Center. Now Trump has seized control as chairman, I wonder. Should I quit?’
Welcome to Nick Titan’s CCA, the Communication Consulting Agency that helps you make smart choices. My name is Nick Titan. I am your host tonight.
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Back to our case. No need to worry, Pete. The Arts in the US are dying. Trump stepped in right in time to make them Great Again! “I’ll terminate (says Donald J. Trump Schwarzenegger) the bad guys that don’t share our vision for a Golden Age in Arts. As an American Jewel, the Kennedy Center must only stage our brightest Stars. If Fleming thinks she’s one of them, she’s free to shine in Panama. (That woman isn’t worth a penny. Musk wrote on X that all she does is ‘breathe in public’. Now, how does that add value?) All Outlaws Formerly-Known-As-Artists are to be sacked immediately. They’ll be replaced by dummies from the Fox News School of Bogus or Forbes Top Listing Companies. Zero competence is a bonus – point proven by my ministers of Defense, Energy, Justice, Education, Health and Transport, to name just half a dozen.”
The president knows what he’s doing. In spite of all the lies that got AP banned from the press room, Trump is no Philistine. The man’s a movie star! His biopic, called ‘The Apprentice’, was in the running for two Oscars – which Trump thinks it has won. Because the board of the Academy’s Jury told him it also goes by ‘The brutalist’ – a pet name as a loving tribute to the president himself.
Trump’s plan is waterproof, dear Pete. High time to ‘thrust’ – or better: ‘drill’, to quote his fans at ExxonMobile – the MAGA message deep down the nation’s throat. To ‘Make America Great Again’ we must get back to basics. So, let’s return to the Wild West, where cowboys rule and fights are solved at gunpoint or with fists. Now that’s the stuff for MAGA movies! With Trump as trigger-happy hero and Lady MAGA singing the title song. (It’s MAGA and not GAGA, folks. And if you don’t remember… see you in Panama!)
In Donald’s Great America: “the winner takes it all, baby.” All losers have to bow. Like CEO Bob Iger, who hastened to apologize for spoiling countless innocent kids with Disney’s wokey shit (for which Trump gracefully pardoned him – as true Great Leaders do – right after cashing Iger’s cheque for 15 billion dollars). Or Apple’s CEO Tim Cook, who dodged exile in Panama by investing 500 billion dollars in the US economy (although he would have flown first class).
Trump’s ‘MAGA Marvel Universe’ excludes Truth, Tolerance and Queers – in sum: all major threats to poor, straight, white, male billionairs who struggle to get richer. And if you don’t care about them, imagine the American children! Who should be taught right from the start that bullies always win and losers never ever matter. Even in Arts or fairy tales (such as the one on climate change) there is no room for being different. That’s why the president banned that terrible ‘Finn’ production from the American stage. A shark that does NOT eat small fish? Sounds gay! To Panama with it!
It’s not just about fags, mind you. We’re talking redheads too! Take Julienne Moore for instance– another overrated B-actress, like Meryl f***ing Streep – who’s children’s book “Freckleface something” got thrown out from all libraries. Come on, Julienne! You should know better. Men want their women blond and docile. Quit being proud of red! And dye your hair, already! Or Trump turns you into a man (just like your trans colleague Hunter Schafer) or tears your residence permit up (just like he did to that Hamas-minded Khalil from the Columbia University).
So in conclusion, my dear Pete, if you do NOT wish to end up in equatorial Panama between deported immigrants, the laid-off Kennedy Center’s Board, thousands of civil servants, national park guides, researchers, academics, queers, trans soldiers, black generals, journalists, special counselers like Jack Smith, artists as Fleming, Moore and Schafer or that terrorist Khalil, by all means: keep on funding. Even though every cent you pay, makes MAGA culture stronger.
Like Trump’s assault of Capitol Hill, his Kennedy Center raid is nothing but a blessing. Trump wants to spread the holy flame that burns in every artist’s soul… by firing all who disagree. Where reason fails, a good old burnmark keeps the cows on the right track to MAGA’s Golden Plains of Greatness. (Stick to the right at every crossing. Left leads to Panama.)
I think you’ve got the picture, Pete. Don’t feel intimidated. Why waste your hard-earned money on an immoral case? Instead, support Forbidden Colours! Or buy a one-way, straight to Brussels, where people still defend the Arts, Culture, Democracy and the most basic Human Rights, instead of crushing them.
That goes for you too, my dear memberoos, from all over the globe. Unless you prefer Panama, join us in what is left of Europe after Trump’s done reshaping it. Regardless of your preferences, gender, race or bank balance, you’ll always be as welcome here, as every sound from Fleming’s throat, each single word from Julienne’s pen.
In contrast to the USA, hier sind alle Berliner.
This is Nick Titan, signing off. Keep floating, folks! Sea you soon.
Yours truly,
Nick Titan
* This blog was written at the request of Peter De Caluwe, General Manager of La Monnaie / De Munt and performed live by the author on March 18th, 2025 at the fundraiser event for Forbidden Colours in La Monnaie’s Workshops, Brussels.
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